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Kazuto Kirigaya
Kazuto Kirigaya (Japanese: 桐ヶ谷 和人, Kirigaya Kazuto), better known by his gamertag Kirito, is the founder and CEO of the "Kirito is Always Right Foundation", the sole surviving member of the Moonlit Black Cats, and the main protagonist of Sword Art Online Abridged. Biography Pre-Episode 1 Not much is known about this version of Kirito, but it is known that he gets bullied a lot in real life, espesially by his younger sister Suguha. This made him feel like real life is unfair, as he believed that his superior intellect should make him on top of the power structure, so he escaped into video games where he let out his frustrations by being sarcastic to other players who he thought were idiots. But this only made him feel lonely inside, but due to his inexperience with making friends he didn't know how to fix this and kept using his sarcastic persona in hopes that someone would like it. Episode 1 On November 6, 2022, Kirito enters Sword Art Online. He wonders whether anything has changed since the beta. Kirito looks to see that the game has become overrun with ads. Kirito notes that this is disgusting, then purchases an AdBlocker DLC for $29.99, saying that he will burn this fucker to the ground.Episode 1 Kirito finds a player named BallsDeep69 being tackled by a boar. Kirito sarcastically congratulates him, but Balls retorts that the pig must be from Hell. Kirito grabs a pebble and throws it at the pig, killing it instantly. Kirito then says that he's stumbled across the most powerful weapon in the game: the Mithril Pebble of Pig-Smiting. Kirito then tells Balls of the epic multigenerational tale of the Pebble. Balls tells Kirito that he has a feeling Kirito gets beaten up a lot in real life, but Kirito retorts that here he has power. Balls stands up, thanking Kirito for the quick tutorial on pig-slaying and the not-so-quick tutorial on rocks. Kirito tells Balls he had fun taunting him. When Kirito notices Balls' gamertag, Balls says that he is using a character to dick around with until he gets the hang of the game, and that he will make his real character later. When Kirito reminds Balls of the pizza he has coming, Balls attempts to log out. However, Balls asks Kirito how to log out. Kirito attempts to show Balls how to log out, but the Log Out button is blank. Balls attempts to manually remove the Nerve Gear, but Kirito reminds him that the Nerve Gear disables the wearer's motor functions, so the wearer doesn't move around while they're playing, reminding Balls of all those videos of the beta-testers. Suddenly, Kirito and BallsDeep69 are teleported to the Town of Beginnings, along with every other player. There, a warning pops up. The sky starts to bleed, and from the blood comes Kayaba Akihiko, head programmer of SAO. Kayaba informs the players that there is no longer any way to log out of SAO, and the only way to escape is to clear all 100 floors of Castle Aincrad to beat the game. Before Kayaba leaves, he shares that he has disabled the profanity filter. In order to prepare, Kirito begins to head to another town. He informs Balls that there is a mini-boss on the way, and Kirito needs some "cannon fodder". However, Balls turns him down, saying that his friends are about as skilled as he is and may have a better chance of surviving if they stick together. Balls says that, though Kirito is an unbearable asshole, he is really good at the game, so they should form a guild. However, Kirito runs away crying because Balls called him an asshole. Episode 2 After a month of still being trapped in Sword Art Online, two thousand players have already died. In a meeting in town square, players are still shocked over the high death toll in only one month and they still haven't cleared the first floor. The announcer, Diabel tries to calm the audience down by informing everyone that they've located the boss room and have formulated strategies with the beta testers. As soon as beta testers are mentioned, Kibaou steps out of the crowd, blaming the player deaths on the testers for not helping the beginners. Another male player interjects Kibaou's statement of blaming the betas. Kibaou asks who the player is, and he reveals his player name as "Tiffany", which he himself points out is a woman's name. With Kibaou both confused and intimidated, Tiffany points out to the other players how the beta testers have been helping the beginners all along by giving everyone tutorial books with tips and strategies on how to survive the game, but is shocked to realize that none of them have even read the book. As Diabel is coming with solutions, Kirito sees a female player, Asuna alone. When Kirito asks why she hasn't joined with anyone else, Asuna says she doesn't know how to use the game menu. When Asuna asks why Kirito is alone, he makes an arrogant remark on how inferior the others were, but Asuna sees through his façade and points out that no-one wanted Kirito on their team either. Kirito retorts saying it was mutual. After walking up the stairs for five hours to the boss room, most of the members are exhausted from the trip and take an extra hour to regain stamina. Once finally reaching the boss room, most of the assault team members are no longer following the plan and attack aimlessly at Ill fang and the sentinels, with each squad not following a single order from Diabel. Kirito and Asuna help squads A and B, with Asuna displaying impressive techniques despite being a beginner. Soon after noting this Kirito doubts what he thought, since Asuna asked if she was dying because when she killed a sentinel it gave her experience points. With Ill Fang's health on red, Diabel tries to land a finishing blow. As Diabel prepares to attack, Kirito notices that Ill Fang's weapon wasn't a talwar, but a nodachi. Kirito warns Diabel of the weapon change, but when Diabel asks why it's important Kirito explains the origins of both weapons and before he can get into why it's dangerous, Ill Fang fatally strikes Diabel down with a combo. Kirito explains to Diabel while he's down that a nodachi has more reach and can cause more damage, not saying this first because he thinks of himself as a teacher. Kirito tries to give Diabel a healing potion, but rejects it, feeling he's no longer capable of leading the other players and losing all hope. Diabel asks how Kirito is able to push on in spite of all despair. Kirito answers that from his past experiences with MMOs, he's learned to let go of all of his compassion, seeing himself as a lion among sheep. With his final moments, Diabel asks Kirito to lead the Assault team and to show them they can beat the game. Kirito seemingly accepts the offer and says how in different circumstances, he and Diabel could've been friends ,but Diabel's last words are, "I doubt it". With Diabel now dead, Asuna comes up with a strategy to knock Ill fang off balance so one of them could attack, with Kirito pointing out how Asuna can come up with a tactical strategy, but still can't handle a menu. With it being her plan, Asuna decides to attack, but is almost killed when Ill Fang manages to slash Asuna's cloak, causing her hair and face to be shown. With Asuna's close call, Kirito decides to attack, ending up with both Asuna and Kirito fighting for the killing blow. Kirito manages to slash Ill Fang across the body, ending him and earning himself the Coat of Midnight as a boss drop. Tiffany congratulates Kirito on his victory, a feat more flawless than Fluffles the cat learning how to play. Although the players cheer Kirito on, he decides not to honor Diabel's last wish and decides to leave his position as leader of the assault team, calling them incompetent teammates whose only value was absorbing damage from the boss. Kirito dons on his earned Coat of Midnight to signify his status as a solo player. Before leaving, Asuna asks for half of the coat, pointing out that she did half the work and deserves half of the coat. After much arguing, Kirito offers to give Asuna the coat if she sends him a trade request. When Asuna asks what a trade request means, Kirito tells her the only thing she needs to do is open her menu, which she doesn't know how to do and leaves laughing evilly.Episode 2 Episode 3 In April, Kirito is approached by a Guild of five. The leader, Keita offers Kirito to be a part of his Guild called The Moonlit Black Cats after looing at his stats (which were set in private). At first, Kirito declines, but Keita persuades Kirito using his Charisma hat. Keita later reveals that three of the members are actually NPCs from unfinished quests, with the only other actual player being Sachi, who is suffering lags from her bad connection. As time went on, Kirito would grow to care and tolerate the guild, like how a man tolerates the tapeworms in his stomach. One night Sachi went missing. Keita uses his charisma hat to make Kirito find their lost teammate. Uses his detective skill, Kirito finds Sachi hiding under a bridge. Kirito asks why Sachi left and she says that she's afraid that people she loves will be killed because of her lag. Kirito is surprised because it's the first time he hasn't been able to mock someone else's words. Sachi tells Kirito it's not something that needs to be mocked and says to Kirito his unbearable arrogance is why people think he's an asshole. Now knowing the error of his Kirito promises Sachi that he'll be nicer and treat people with proper respect. Days later, Keita announces to the group that they're now in debt to the mob due to taking and selling an item that belonged to them. Keita later says that the Mob would pardon them once they give them back the item which only spawns in a dungeon room. Kirito is about to mock how stupid Keita is, but after remembering his promise to Sachi he keeps his thoughts to himself. As the Guild venture to the dungeon, Keita once again uses his Charisma hat to talk his way out of going with them. Upon entering the dungeon, the Guild spot a single chest in an empty room. Kirito quickly takes note that the chest is a trap, but the NPC Gary opens the chest anyway having been switched by Sachi to auto loot to save time. After opening the chest, the door behind them is locked and they face slaughternauts and murder golems. Gary uses his teleport crystal to escape, taking the rest of the crystals with him. The other two NPCs are quickly dealt with leaving only Kirito and Sachi. While trying to hold the minibosses off, a golem strikes Sachi across the back as she starts to glitch, fatally wounding her. Sachi tried to reassure Kirito by telling him "This isn't your fault", but it glitched into repeating the last two words. After hearing the deaths of his companions, Keita jumps off the castle Aincrad, committing suicide and leaving Kirito with severe PTSD. Months later on Christmas, Kirito hears from an info broker that Santa Claus is going to appear under a certain fur tree giving whoever finds him an item that will give anyone a marry Christmas and runs off to avoid paying the broker. Kirito later comes across Balls and his men while looking for the item. After calling Balls by his player name, he and the rest of his Guild say, "My name is Klein", due to correcting people his own men believe it's how he says "hello". Kirito says he's looking for the item to help heal some mysterious injury after losing his Guild, Balls looks at Kirito with redundancy. Before Balls can explain, he and Kirito are surrounded by the mob. A member of the mob explains that since Kirito is the sole survivor of the Moonlit Black Cats, the debt falls him. In the standoff, Balls explains to Kirito that he isn't injured, but sad that all his friends died and is experiencing emotions a sociopath never understands. Balls tells Kirito the rumor that the mystery item might be able to resurrect players and offers to hold off the mob. Touched by this act of chilvary, Kirito thanks Balls, calling him by his preferred name "Klein". Kirito goes to fight Nicholas the Renegade for the mystery item. Kirito returns to Klein who has defeated the mob, but his expression shows he is not excited. Kirito shows Klein that the item s actually a charisma hat. Although Kirito was unsuccessful, he thanks Klein for showing him that there;s still a part of him that feels and has now killed it forever, going back to calling him Balls. Balls is sad that after everything, Kirito still rejects humanity and cries.Episode 3 Episode 4 In the woods, Kirito saves a player named Silica who lost her dragon pet, Pina. At first Kirito doesn't want to be involved with whatever Silica is sad about, but when Silica says what happened "wasn't his fault", Kirito remembers Sachi's final words to him and after internally breaking, he decides to listen to her against his better judgement. Silica then goes off telling her entire past to Kirito, which lasts approximately seven hours. Having finally finished telling her backstory to Kirito, who is less then enthusiastic about the massive dump of useless knowledge, Kirito suggests that Silica could revive her dead dragon by collecting a special item which revives pets and warns her the item won't work three days after death . Silica is happy to find out that Pina can be revived, but is less happy when she finds out that Kirito won't be helping her on her quest. As they are about to part ways, they meet with Rosalia. Rosalia is disappointed that Siliza wasn't able to make leather pants out of Pina's remains and even Kirito points out how comfortable it would've been. Silica tells both Rosalia and Kirito that she'll revive Pina no matter what. After Rosalia basically tells Kirito he's weak and putting on an act, Kirito becomes triggered with his eyes becoming smaller with rage and decides to help Silica. On the next day, they arrive to Floor 47 where they work their way to numerous mobs before reaching the special flower-item. Silica, believing that they have completed their quest, is told by Kirito that they need at least fifty of the petals, which will then be traded to an NPC, who gives them a crystal, which opens a dungeon with numerous mini-bosses, where the true flower will finally be found. After the excruciating process, they finally acquire the item, and start heading away. Before they can revive Pina, Kirito detects Rosalia and others hiding behind the trees. It's revealed that Rosalia wanted Silica and Kirito to find the item, wanting to steal the item from them, while Kirito knew about her plans and helped Silica only to catch Rosalia and her guild. Kirito though is surprised by how pitiful Rosalia's guild is, having expected a stronger guild. Unfazed by his disappointment, Rosalia belittles Kirito by pointing out how he's hiding behind the persona of an "invincible warrior", finally concluding that he sounds like a girl regardless. This sent him into a frenzy, allowing them to take the first shot. Many of Rosalia's men are hesitant, ignores this, believing she was successful in breaking Kirito's sense of security. As her guild members are attacking Kirito lowering his HP, his HP level suddenly rises back up. Kirito explains to the members that his level is high enough for him to regenerate faster than he's being damaged, and taunts them in the process. Rosalia comments that his strength in the game is an illusion, causing Kirito to attack her, slitting her throat and killing her. This whole scene leaves Silica fairly terrified. Back in her apartment, Silica questions why Kirito isn't feeling anything over killing Rosalia. Kirito explains he no longer has feelings due to his previous experience, but when Silica points out he'll never get to experience enjoyment, Kirito changes his mind when he realized he can't fully enjoy his revenge (which may have been a sarcastic remark on his end). Though Kirito had a lot of fun, Silica says that she would rather not stick around with him, likely terrified of him. As they are about to revive Pina, the special item expires and gets destroyed. Silica causes mass destruction in her wake. Episode 4 Episode 5 At Floor 56, Kirito, Asuna and the assault team are discussing the raid of Sheeptar the Sheep King, which had already killed 7 of their guild according to Klein. Her plan was to get close enough to aggro him and have their archers lead him to the nearest village, where he'll be too distracted killing the NPCs there to notice their attack. Kirito tries to interject to spare the NPCs, but before he can continue, Kirito hears the voice of the NPC named Gary, the same NPC that caused the deaths of Kirito's Guild. Seeking vengeance, Kirito violently mutilates Gary off screen, as the others watch in horror. On April 11, 2024 in floor 59, Kirito is laying in the grass. Asuna finds Kirito under a tree. She talks with-or more appropriately, yells at Kirito about how they beat Sheeptar. She claims that Sheeptar was climbing walls and spitting acid, and that the fight resulted in the deaths of 5 more players. Asuna quickly catches on that Kirito is too mellow than usual. Kirito explains he got himself high to power level his alchemy. Although he's stoned, Kirito tries to calm Asuna down, saying the deaths were no-one's fault and offers her to sit down with him and watch the stars(which can't be seen with your eyes). Later that day, Kirito, whose now sober sees Asuna sleeping beside him. With an above average girl beside and no-one around to interrupt, Kirito decides to create mischief. Asuna wakes up with ink marker whiskers on her face and Kirito with a satisfied look on his face. She grabs her sword and asks what he did to her, Kirito, scared, responds saying he drew cat whiskers on her face. Asuna then gets confused, thinking he did something else, and asks him if he wants to get something to eat. At the Restaurant, Kirito complains through sarcastic remarks with how poor the joint is. Asuna comments how Kirito recently ate random plants off the ground to get high. Kirito points out that Asuna was even stupider for sitting next to some "crazed drug fiend", even though said drug fiend was him. Before they can continue, they hear a scream. Asuna and Kirito go to investigate the noise and in the town square, they find a hanged man with a sword in his chest. Kirito isn't shocked or worried for the man because the town acts as a safe-zone and won't die, calling the man a "human piñata". Asuna goes to the tower to cut the man down while Kirito goes to catch the man. As Kirito makes his way through the crowd, the Man dies, shattering with the seemingly normal death animation. Kirito doesn't believe this was real, thinking the man was a NPC players messed with, but a player named Yolko, identifies the man as Kains. Kirito and Asuna escort Yolko back to her hotel and begin to question whether or not they have a killer among them. Kirito makes an assumption that the killer wanted Kains' death to be public, Asuna asks why Kirito cares in the first place. Due to being the clown prince of douchebags, his first reaction to human suffering is to watch. Kirito tries to make it seem he genuinely cares about getting Yolko closure, but Asuna sees right through this when he can't remember Yolko's name. Kirito admits the real reason he's investigating is to prove he's right that one can't be killed in safe-zones. For information on the sword, Kirito and Asuna go to Tiffany's shop. At first Tiffany is glad to see Kirito, but is shocked to see Asuna come through the door. At first Kirito doesn't understand, but picks up the reason when Asuna starts addressing Tiffany with a gangsta style tone. After some mildly racist banter, Tiffany looks up the stats for the murder weapon. Tiffany sees that the sword is called Guilty Thorn and a player made weapon by Grimlock. Tiffany finds nothing special that would make players get killed in safe-zones. To see if the power is real, Kirito tries to stab himself, but is stopped by Asuna. Believing the sword to be too dangerous, Asuna gives it to Tiffany, who comments how giving the black man the murder weapon is a tale as old as time. Kirito and Asuna meet Yolko in the restaurant Kirito hates and asks if she knows Grimmlock. Yolko explains that she and Grimlock were part of a guild and Grimlocks wife, Griselda was the leader. Six months ago, the Guild found a rare item. Rather than fight over it, they decided to sell it and split the profits. When Griselda went out to sell it, she was killed. Since they were the only ones to know about the item, they knew the killer had to be one of them and fell apart. The reason Grimlock would've suspected Kains because he, Yolko and a lancer, Schmitt voted to keep the item. Kirito, Asuna and Yolko find Schmitt who is a terrified player whose afraid his commenters are now going to kill him. Yolko warns Schmitt that Grimlock may be after both of them to avenge Griselda. Yolko rises from her seat saying the killer couldn't have been Grimlock because the attack was in a safe-zone. Although she seems to be making sense, the monkeys in her brain scream out that Griselda's ghost has come to take bloody vengeance on all three of her potential murderers. Schmitt is not okay with "Griselda's" judgement, wanting to survive the game for his fans. Asuna rules out that it was impossible for a dead player to still inhabit the game, but Kirito makes a sarcastic remark saying it was a hit by the mermaid mafia. Asuna tells Kirito to take things seriously, but Kirito is still holding onto his belief that you can't die in a safe zone. As Kirito says this, Yolko is stabbed in the back while she's by a window and falls out. As Yolko falls she dies with the same death animation.Episode 5 Episode 6 Kirito looks out the window and sees a cloaked figure across a rooftop. Believing him to be a suspect in Yolko's murder, Kirito pursues the cloaked figure who evades capture using a teleport crystal and Kirito falls through a window and into a farm, failing to capture the figure. Kirito returns to the apartment with the dagger used to kill Yolko. Asuna insults Kirito by saying he's no where near as great as a great detective such as Batman. Suprising infuriated by this comment Kirito yells out "Fuck you!". Now being the only assumed traitor of his Guild, Schmitt starts to believe in Yolko's theory that Griselda is a ghost and knows it's only a matter of time until Griselda kills him. As Schmitt frantically panics, Asuna asks Kirito what their next move is going to be, but finds out that Kirito has left her with a completely scared Schmitt. Asuna finds Kirito and chastises him for leaving her behind, but Kirito responds saying none of his previous actions were out of character for him. Asuna acknowledges his "assholeness" and reluctantly gives Kirito a sandwich she made. Kirito asks Asuna how she was able to make it with her diffulty of using a menu, but before he can finish, Asuna threatens to stab Kirito in the eye. As the two are eating, Asuna starts to discuss what they've learned, but Kirito stops saying he was already able to figure out everything. Furious at the fact that Kirito solved he mystery without her, Asuna stomps the ground, making Kirto drop his sandwich and it shatters. Grief-stricken with his sandwich's "death", Kirito takes a moment of silence. Offscreen, Kirito realizes the safe-zone deaths was a plan by both Yolko and Kains to get Schmitt to confess being Griselda's killer, but Kirito has Asuna find Griselda's husband Grimlock, who Kirito suspects to being the real killer. With Kains Yolko and Schmitt in possible danger, Kirito uses Asuna's friend list to track down Yolko and save them from the murder Guild Laughing Coffin. Kirito demands that Laughing Coffin let Yolko, Kains and Schmit go, which the leader refuses to do, as they have already been paid by their client, though only 50 bucks. Hearing the rather unimpressive amount of money given for the murder of three people, Kirito advises the Laughing Coffin members in their business, advising them to tone down the religious theme, and spreading their appeal through add campaigns. The members are overtaken by Kirito's enthusiastic advice, letting their targets go as a thanks for his advice. Kirito not only reveals Kains' and Yolko's true plan, but also reveal Grimlock as the actual killer. Kirito is disgusted by the fact that Grimlock only killed Griselda because she didn't prepare him dinner and says how love was special and something everyone looks for and Grimlock wasted his own love by being possessive. Grimlock isn't phased until Asuna tells Grimlock his hat makes him look like a hipster, making the widower fall to his knees. While Kirito had no effect on Grimlock, Asuna noted that it was nice to see that Kirito has a sensitive side when he was talking about finding someone special. Although he thinks this is her way of apologizing for not beliving he was right. Asuna tries to explain that she is trying to have a moment but is being ruined by Kains, Yolko, and Schmitt Slowly killing Grimlock to death. After the three kill Grimlock the two are finally able to have a moment where in a shocking never before seen turn of events, Kirito compliments Asuna on her help. Since Kirito never friends anyone he never would have guessed where to look for Kains, Schmitt, or Yolko. As a reward for his compliment she invites him to breakfast since they never got to finish their meal from yesterday. Before they leave Kirito and Asuna spot Griselda’s ghost. While she was initially trying to thank them for solving her death they are completely horrified at the sight of her. Kirito panics and throws a sword at her. They both run away screaming while Griselda’s ghost with Kirito’s sword stuck in her sighs in annoyance.Episode 6 Episode 7 On floor 48, in the town Lindas, Kirito arrives at a blacksmith shop, demanding service, threatening to burn the place down in thirty seconds. just as Kirito reaches 29 seconds, Lizbeth appears. At first Kirito doesn't realize that Lizbeth is the blacksmith and makes a rude comment about her "traditional blacksmithing hoop skirt". Kirito requests a custom order to craft a sword equally good or better than the one he already possesses, due to throwing his previous sword at Griselda's ghost. Lizbeth views Kirito's Elucidator and comments how it's the gnarliest sword to be dropped by a monster. Lizbeth presents Kirito the best sword she's ever forged, a "rad enough blade to rescue the president" with a Lizbeth Quality Guarantee. To test the sword's durability, Kirito slashes the sword against his Elucidator, causing it to break in half, shocking Lizbeth. Lizbeth tries to salvage what's left of her sword, but it disappears. Kirito comments how he can't deal with anymore crying women in his life, but Lizbeth springs up with rage over Kirito's actions. Lizbeth tells Kirito to leave, but Kirito reminds her of her own quality guarantee and could've been killed if if facing an enemy. Kirito negotiates that he won't do everything in his power to destroy Lizbeth's hopes and dreams if she made him the best sword in the game. Lizbeth reminds Kirito he requested an as good or better sword, but after Kirito tried to con him with her embarrassment of a sword, the prices have went up to "Lizbeth Quality Guarantee Plus interest". Lizbeth who is boiling with anger, tells Kirito she'll make the best sword he's ever seen, but needs an ultra rare metal to forge it. Lizbeth warns Kirito the metal is hidden within the mountains of Floor 55, guarded by an elite dragon, but shocks herself when the metal won't spawn unless he's partied with a master Blacksmith, making Lizbeth have to finally leave the safety of her shop. At the mountain, Lizbeth complains with how cold the mountain is, with Kirito pointing out Mountains are usually cold. Lizbeth tries to fire back asking why Kirito isn't cold and he relies that unlike her, he has pants. Kirito gives Lizbeth a coat to keep her warm, saying that although it's not pants, it would to the trick. At the top of the mountain, Lizbeth bursts with joy of the clear crystals. As Lizbeth is about to venture off, Kirito pulls her by her hood. At first Lizbeth is mad, but when Kirito reminds her she can't run off ahead in a boss room, Lizbeth shuts down and apologizes for her carelessness. Now on good terms Kirito tells Lizbeth to prepare her teleport crystal while he handles the dragon. Lizbeth tells Kirito he can't face the dragon alone, but he shuts her down screaming "DO IT SACHI!". Realizing what he's just said, Kirito calms down, pats Lizbeth on the head and tells her to pretend what he said didn't happen. As the Dragon appears Kirito tells Lizbeth to hide behind the crystals. Lizbeth screams out to Kirito about a breath attack twice, making him distracted and have to deflect it. Furious with how annoying Lizbeth is being, Kirito cuts off one of the dragon's arms. Amazed, Lizbeth emerges from her hiding spot, causing the dragon to use it's wings to blow Lizbeth into a pit. Kirito manages to save Lizbeth by shielding her from the fall, mad that she couldn't fulfill her one job. At the bottom of the pit, Kirito and Lizbeth decide to teleport out, but are unable to because the teleport crystals won't work. Kirito whines on how great it is that he's going to die cold and alone in a pit, Lizbeth tries to cheer him up saying she's with him and Kirito sarcastically remarks how the good news keeps coming. Kirito tries to run up on the wall, but ends up falling back down, with Kayaba putting in Goofy sound effects. With no other options, Kirito and Lizbeth set up camp in the pit. During the night, Lizbeth remarks how exciting the day was despite their predicament as they climbed a mountain and fought a dragon (Although Kirito points out he fought the dragon and the dragon fought her). Lizbeth points out she didn't have this much fun since her Guild, making her stop in her tracks. Kirito asks why Lizbeth stays in her shop and not be with her Guild and Lizbeth replies that she had a Guild, making Kirito instantly know what she meant. As Kirito is going through a mental break down, Lizbeth explains that about a year ago, when she was leveling her blacksmithing, she heard about a rare ore that could speed things up. Since the ore was in a dungeon too high level for her, she convinced her guild members to take her. Upon finding the ore, Lizbeth got too excited and ran for it, triggering a trap, causing the deaths of her fellow guild members. Blaming herself for the downfall of her Guild, Kirito holds her hand with tears in his eyes empathizing with her because he lost his guild in a similar circumstance. In the morning, Kirito is digging through the snow. Kirito reveals that he's found the rare metal they came for. Kirito hands Lizbeth the metal and reveals to her it's actually dragon poop. Seeing the dragon coming back for the day, Kirito grabbed Lisbeth and ran up the wall to get on the dragon. He then stabbed the dragon with his Elucidator, and the dragon flew out of the pit in surprise, carrying him and Lisbeth along with it. They held hands and detached themselves from the dragon when they were in the sky. While freefalling, Lizbeth gazes at the sunset and takes note she would never have seen such a view if she stayed in her shop and thanks Kirito for pushing her to face her fears. Back at Lindas, Lizbeth goes to forge the one handed long sword Kirito requested. Lizbeth presents Kirito a sword which is the first of it's kind and doesn't have a name. Pondering on what to call it, Kirito asks how much he owes Lizbeth, but she says he can have it for free. Lizbeth is about to confess her feelings to Kirito, but was at that point interrupted by Asuna, who hugs Lisbeth. After the hug is over, Lizbeth runs off crying, leaving Kirito confused on what happened between the two friends. Believing what Asuna said was possibly/probably racist, Kirito uses his detective skill to track down Lizbeth under a bridge. Kirito tells Lizbeth that he's finally come up with a name for the sword. Initially dubbing it sunlight heart for their adventure which Lizbeth admires, but later changed it to "The Piece of Shit...Dragon Shit that is", following Lizbeth's contact info. Lizbeth asks why Kirito why he would he do that, and he repies that it was a way to cement Lizbeth's legacy. Lizbeth laughs at the remark, now remembering the asshole Kirito is and gets over her previous infatuation with him. When Lizbeth remarks that she once wanted to sleep with him, Kirito is shocked. Episode 7 Episode 8 On floor 50 in Tiffany's shop. Kirito shows him a Ragout Rabbit, an S-Class ingredient. Tiffany asks Kirito how he obtained such a rare food, but Kirito surprisingly has no story for it as he killed the animal by throwing a knife at it, a tale both disappointing to Tiffany and Kirito himself. Tiffany is shocked that Kirito would like to sell the ingredient instead of eating it. Kirito notes that he would need to find someone who has maxed out cooking to prepare the meal. Luckily, and to Tiffany's horror, Asuna shows up with her body guard Kuradeel, informing them that she has maxed out cooking. Kirito offers Asuna half of the meal if she cooks for him to which Asuna sees Kirito's offer as a date. Kirito scoffs the offer, pointing out her "boyfriend" is standing right behind her, But Asuna says no in disgust and says Kuradeel is just her bodyguard. Kuradeel is embarrassed of how repulsive Asuna sees him and Kirito makes a joke that Kuradeel looks like Voldemort caught in a grease fire. Jokes aside, Asuna clarifies whether or not it's a date. Kirito is surprised with Asuna's seriousness, thinking she was only joking until Asuna grabs him by the collar sternly inviting him to her place at 6 o'clock and make it a romantic evening. Kirito says yes and remarks that Asuna's request was more like a mugging. Tiffany asks to get some of the delicious food, but Kirito says that he'll need to come to Asuna's home to eat, something beyond Tiffany's abilities. On Floor 61 in Selmburg, Kirito arrives to Asuna's place. Kirito is shocked by Asuna's genuine happiness to see him, having expected Asuna's place to be a sound proof warehouse with a shallow grave outback, but the calm atmosphere is more unsettling. Asuna assures Kirito that she'd never do that to him and leaves to change. Kirito is unconvinced by Asuna's recent behavior and decides to stay vigilant to find out what she's planning and sees Asuna return with more attractive attire. When Asuna asks of Kirito is going to put away his sword before dinner, Kirito at first thinks she means his penis looks down, but after realizing what she's said he dismisses the notion. After cooking the Ragout rabbit, Kirito is amazed with how beautiful the S-class dish is and both he and Asuna dine with pleasure. Asuna thanks Kirito for the rabbit, having been glad to share the experience, but Kirito cuts her off having been fed up with Asuna's new attitude towards him. Kirito notices that Asuna hasn't been the same since they've seen Griselda's ghost (which they both agreed didn't happen). Kirito points out that ever since, Asuna seems to no longer be disgusted with Kirito as she used to be. Asuna tells Kirito to drop the subject, but as he continues and asks if she likes him, Asuna pulls a knife to Kirito's face. With Asuna's threat, Kirito drops the subject entirely and with drama all over, Asuna tells Kirito to join a party with her to keep anything from happening to him. With drama back on, Kirito asks what Asuna wants from him and Asuna puts the knife back on him until he accepts the party request. The next day On Floor, Kirito is drowsy and waiting for Asuna. Asuna then suddenly appeared from the Teleport Gate and accidentally falls on top of Kirito. While Asuna is on Kirito, he accidently gropes her breast and as he realizes his mistake, she smacks him across the field, finally waking up. Although smacking Kirito, Asuna hides behind him, revealing that she was running from her bodyguard, Kuradeel. Kirito asks why Asuna needs help dealing with the half melted troll doll and she reveals that Kuradeel broke into her house and watched her sleep. Kirito stands up for Asuna, telling Kuradeel not to treat his superior like a child in traffic as Asuna is more than capable of taking care of herself. Kuradeel is insulted that Kirito addressed him as "Skeletor", making Kirito say, "You look like Benjamin Button fucked an old catcher's mitt, like four inches of face stretched over twelve inches of skull, like a moldy Jack o' Lantern some frat guy barfed in and then crushed against his forehead because he was SUPER drunk and thought it was a beer can and immediately regretted every single life choice he ever made!". No longer willing to take Kirito's Tom foolery, Kuradell challenges Kirito to a duel. After Kirito accepts, wanting to humiliate the body guard in front of an adoring audience, Kayaba puts on circus music to show how much of a clown show the duel is. Kirito gives Kuradeel a chance to back down, but Kuradeel refuses, wanting to teach Kirito a lesson. As weapons clash for the first time, Kirito slices Kuradeel's sword in two. Having already won the fight, Kirito asks if Kuradeel is done. Not finished with Kirito, Kuradeel draws out his second sword. As Kuradeel is charging for a second attack Asuna disarms Kuradeel by making him throwing it in the air and tells him to leave before he embarrasses himself and the Guild any further. Kuradeel is angered by this, but as soon as his sword drops into his head by the blade he teleports to their base, Granzam. Asuna congratulates Kirito for their teamwork. Asuna admits the reason she didn't was because a standard Kirito defeat was more satisfying than just reporting Kuradeel. Kirito is shocked that Asuna sees him as a tool and reminds her that there's a person attached to the sword. Hours later, Kirito and Asuna have cleared everything with the exception if the boss room. Asuna brings the two of them sandwiches, but as Kirito takes a bite, he says the sandwich is completely terrible. Kirito demands an explanation as he describes the sandwich as an animal turd dipped in cool ranch. Asuna realizes that the reason the sandwich is so horrible because of the ragout rabbit. Due to the S-class ingredient prepared by a maxed out chef, it's literally the best food one could ever eat real or otherwise, making every other food garbage in comparison. Kirito is completely shocked that Asuna "Flowers for Algernon" their taste buds. Moments later, Balls and his guild arrive. Seeing Kirito and Asuna together, Balls asks their story, more specifically if Kirito has shown her his "sword skills". Before Kirito can answer such an embarrassing question, General Corvatz appears with his completely exhausted guild, the Aincrad Liberation front. Corvatz tells Kirito, Asuna and Balls that he and his guild are going to take care of the boss for the people. Balls objects telling Corvatz that his men can barely stand much less fight a boss, but he ignores this saying his men don't know the meaning of surrender (But are willing to learn). Kirito initially refuses to help Corvatz, but goes anyway. As the trio enter the boss room they see that the Liberation Front is being slaughtered by a giant fucking goat demon. Asuna tells the front to use their teleport crystals, but they say the crystals aren't working. Corvatz tries to fight for his people, but he is killed by the Goat demon. Kirito is shocked by Corvatz death and tries to cope with his usual assholeness by saying how he shouldn't care for anyone else, but as soon as the demon tries to take another victim, Kirito slashes it across the back in complete anger. During the fight, Kirito summons the sword he got from Liz along with his elucidator, revealing his dual blade ability. As he's finishing off the demon, Kirito rants on his hatred for people, but takes his anger on the boss for making him care. Kirito manages to defeat the boss, but Asuna quickly notices that he only has one HP left and could've died. Kirito collapses and falls unconscious. As soon as Kirito wakes up, Asuna hugs him, having been completely worried for Kirito's safety. Balls asks how Kirito managed to learn dual wielding since the skill is not even in the directory. Kirito claims the skill popped in his menu one day, but acknowledges that he acquired it after facing a player who dual wielded axes. Balls decides to leave after this victory, but before he departs he tells Kirito not to give up on humanity just yet, having noticed Kirito fought for others. Kirito agrees to take it under advisement, calling Balls by his preferred name, "Klein". After Klein leaves, Kirito notices that Asuna is still holding him and back to her "nice" attitude. Kirito is finally relieved when Asuna threatens to cut Kirito if he ruined the moment. Episode 8 Episode 9 TBA Episode 10 TBA Episode 11 TBA Episode 12 TBA Episode 13 TBA Personality Kirito has been shown to be extremely arrogant both before and after his imprisonment in Sword Art Online. He is cynical, sarcastic, self-centered, anti-social, lacks empathy and seems to be taking great pleasure in insulting, belittling, pranking, scamming, trolling, and humiliating people for his own amusement. He downright states that he hates humanity, viewing people as "a complete write-off as a species" and believing them to be irredeemable. At first, it's pointed out by players such as Balls and Rosalia that his 'tough guy' persona is to compensate for the fact he's weak in real life, which has been implied to be true in episode 12. Though Kirito complains constantly about weaker players, he is often manipulated into joining miscellaneous quests, mostly by Asuna. During his coerced membership of the Moonlit Black Cats, he meets and befriends Sachi who convinces him to try and be less of an asshole by taking the feeling of others into consideration. However, after her death, he reverts to his old ways to prevent any further emotional trauma. Kirito's narcissistic tendencies grow exponentially after Sachi's death, as well as resulting in several PTSD-induced psychotic breaks. Overtime however, Kirito allows himself to get close to others again and sacrifices his own dream world for the others trapped in the game. Kirito has been shown to be highly intelligent on several occasions. In real life, he is much less confident and outspoken, and his hatred towards humanity is implied to be a result of psychological and physical abuse suffered at the hands of his younger sister, Suguha. Kirito is also shown to be quite knowledgeable about movies, as not only he was the only player in SAO able to understand most of Kayaba's movie references, but he was even able to figure out Heathcliff was Kayaba by calling back to a TRON reference he made in the beginning of the series. Differences from the Original Similar to the original series, he is an extremely skilled combatant and one of the best players in the game. However, in the abridged version, Kirito is an arrogant and snarky egomaniac who often ridicules other players mercilessly, giving him the title "Crowned Prince of Douchebags" by Asuna; original Kirito was also a bit cocky, but much less so than Abridged Kirito. At the same time, the abridged Kirito seems to be more emotionally fragile than the original. After he first lost the people he cared about, Kirito started to show sociopathic traits and shut out all emotions to prevent himself from being harmed again, while the original got over the Midnight Black Cats fairly easily. Quotes * (To Diabel): "I've been playing MMOs a long time, Diabel, and if there's one thing I've learned... it's that lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Just take that little voice inside your head that tells you to be tactful and understanding... and shoot it. Shoot it in the god damn face." * (To BallsDeep69): "My God. I've stumbled upon the most powerful weapon in the game! The Mithril Pebble of Pig-Smiting! For you see, long ago, forged in the fiery depths of Tartarus, by the Grand Blacksmith of Lucifer himself... And thus, Marjoza, Guardian of the Pebble, fell to his knees, and passed from this world. For he knew, that one day, the mighty pebble would be used again. ... Yes. But the legacy of the pebble lives on." * (To Asuna): "You know what, fine! I'll give you the damn coat! Just send me a trade request. ... Oh, it's, quite simple, really. Just open your menu. ... '''Maniacal Laughter'"'' * (To the assault team, after defeating the first boss) : "I always knew this day would come. Ahem. Fellow gamers! we have traveled far and up many stairs to get to this point. Fighting side by side, noobs and leets alike. I'd like to take a moment to say that I couldn't have done it without the help of each and every one of you. ... Of course I'm not a liar, so I'm not gonna say any of that. I mean, really, I could've done this whole boss fight myself. But, to be fair, I guess you did absorb a bit of damage for me, which was nice. You were an adequate meat shield, and no one can ever take that away from you. ... So, for those of you who came in late, and that one guy playing Bejeweled back there... shoot for the stars... it'll make it more fun when I kick you back into the dirt!" '' * (To Keita): "''Why, that's the most... Probably fine idea I've ever heard!" * (To Sachi): "Oh yeah, we're sprinting to our deaths at RECORD SPEED!" * (To Sachi): "Oh, wow. Slaughternaughts AND murder golems? It must be my BIRTHDAY!" * (To Sachi): "WHO THE FUCK'S GARY!?!?" * (To BallsDeep69): "It's a hat. It's god. Damn. Hat. ... Wear it. Poop in it. I don't really care anymore." * (To BallsDeep69): "So thank you, Balls, for showing me that there is a part of me that can still feel like this. Because now that I know where to find it, I've killed forever." * (To Silica): "... I said could you stop staring at me, it's creepy!" * (To Silica): "Weeeelll, I can see you've got your own thing going on here... Don't want to intrude... I'll just find myself a spot that isn't full of crying children. Oh look, there's one now!" * (To Silica): "If I tell you how to resurrect your hamster, will you leave me alone? ... Kid, no language on Earth has a word for how little I care. A quantum super-computer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the number of fucks I do not give. The frigging HEAT DEPTH of the UNIVERSE-" * (To Silica, seeing Rosalia): "Wait. Hold on, Silica. Do mine eyes deceive me? Tis' the fabled Word Tree of Gamagorath! Font of Human Knowledge, and Devourer of Souls. Quickly child, we must oh my god, will you just come out already?" * (To Rosalia): "Rosalia!? Oh my god, how ARE yo- oh god that's enough of that. Wow. How do you put up that act all day?" * (To Rosalia): "'How'?! Well, it's quite simple really. You see, 'Girlie,' you may think ya got me all figured out, but there's one thing, you didn't account for: my numbers are bigger than yours! Funny thing, really. Get to a high enough level and you're basically untouchable, my wounds heal faster than you can make them! We could do this all day, and you would not be any closer to beating me, not that it wouldn't be fun. But, I've got good news. You see, there's no need to wonder where your god is! 'Cause he's right here! And he's fresh out of mercy!" * (To Rosalia, after killing her): "... Yeah, well, your dead, so... DAMMIT!" * (To Gary): "Ya see? Some of them even have faaaaaa...... GARY. Scuse' me, I have to go say hi to an old friend! Won't be a minute. Hey, GARY! Long time no SEE! Yeah, betcha didn't expect to see ME again, DID YA, punk? You left us to DIE! This is for Sachi! Choke on it! Choke on my vengeance! How does it taste?" * (To Asuna): "Ah Restaurant, the finest cuisine in all of Aincrad!" * (Upon his argument with Asuna being interrupted): Oh, looks like we're out of time! We'll have to continue next week, but in the mean time, please enjoy these lovely consolation prizes from the Kirito is Always Right Foundation! *(To Asuna, after she dismisses Yolko's ghost theory): "Of course not. Obviously, it was a hit by the mermaid mafia paid in leprechaun gold. But who was the puppet master? The unicorns? No, they’ve had a feud with going with the mermaids for years." * (To the Giant Fucking Goat Demon): "You know something? I really hate people. They're selfish, ignorant, loud, obnoxious pricks, with basically no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I mean, really, look at all they've achieved: Genocide, global warming, reality TV; It's just a never-ending parade of failures and fuck-ups. They are, without question, a complete write-off as a species, and HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CARE ABOUT THEM!!" * (After having sex with Asuna): "SUCK IT, Rosalia!" * (Upon mishearing Yui): GARY? Where? I'll kill him! I'll fucking kill him! * (To Heathcliff): A fight to the death. Right here, right now. None of your bullshit GM safety nets. And if I can beat you, you put an end to this dumpster fire of a game and let everyone go free. * (To Asuna about his sudden wish to end SAO faster): Yeah, I guess it doesn't make much sense, does it? This world is like a dream come true for me. Out there, I get shoved around and treated like garbage. But in here, I'm the version of myself I've always wished I could be; strong enough to tell all these idiots what I really thought of them. And, for a while, that was all that mattered. Thing is, a good friend once told me I shouldn't give up on humanity just yet, and despite my best efforts, it kinda started to sink in ... It's true, this world means more to me than the real one ever did. But, the longer we stay here, the greater the chance I'll lose the things I love about it most of all. Voice Actor * In the Japanese Dub Kirito is voiced by Matsuoka Yoshitsugu * In the English Dub Kirito is voiced by Bryce Papenbrook * In the Abridged series Kirito is voiced by Yamato SFX Appearances References Navigation Category:Male Characters